Call Me Superman
by Independence Undervalued
Summary: Darrel Shaynne Curtis had always been a big brother, but he wasn't always the father figure. He never anticipated having to step into his father's shoes at the age of twenty, but his parents had done their best to prepare their son for whatever life would throw at him. This is a glimpse into just how Superman came to be.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Ignore any typo's. I hope you enjoy the third installment in this series I started. I'm writing this while I sort of figure out where I want to go on my Curtis story. Keep an eye out for info regarding that.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. S.E. Hinton owns _The Outsiders._

* * *

**Birth**

Darrel Shaynne Curtis, Jr. was born on the fifth of January. The sun was brilliant, shining brightly off of the snow on the ground outside of the hospital. It was just above freezing, yet inside it was warm and comforting as the Curtis' welcomed their first baby boy into the world. Darrel Curtis held his new pride and joy, cooing down at him as he rocked him. Amelia was watching from her bed, a warm, content smile on her face. Her men. She thought her heart would burst through her chest and tears formed in her eyes as she watched her entire world sitting together in the rocker.

"Look! Amy look, he smiled at me," Darrel gasped, excitement lighting up his handsome face.

She beamed at him and nodded, though his eyes never left their baby boy's face. "I know, sweetheart. Of course he did, with a Daddy like you."

Carefully, Darrel stood and brought Darry over to his mother, letting her hold him as Darrel held her. The three of them formed a picture perfect family, happy and loving. Amelia felt a tear break free from her eye and roll down her cheek. Her husband kissed it away gently and squeezed her.

"He's perfect," she whispered, gazing down at him.

Darrel leaned over and kissed his boy on the forehead as softly as he could and Darry's tiny, blue eyes opened, peering up at them intently. His parents beamed at him, their smiles and loving faces all he could see.

From the moment he was born, Darry Curtis was deeply, undeniably loved.

XxX

**Age Four**

With teddy firmly in hand, four-year-old Darry scurried through the house as quick as his little legs could carry him, giggling madly the entire time. Behind him, Darrel crept with his goofy grin on his face, chasing him on all fours.

"Where you goin', Dar-Bear? Where's my boy, at?"

Hiding behind the couch, he covered his mouth with his tiny fist, trying desperately to reign in the laughter that was overtaking him. His mama watched silently from the dining room, smiling happily as she watched her boys play. Her hand went to her stomach and her smile grew. Soon, there would be four of them, she thought happily. Both she and Darrel were excited for the new baby, but they knew part of it was their excitement to see Darry as a big brother. Amy could tell he would be a natural.

As she thought of the new baby, Darry let out a peal of laughter. Darrel had crept around the corner of the couch and caught their son by surprise. Bursting into a fit of giggles, Darry threw his arms around his daddy's neck and squeezed him tightly as he was lifted high in the air and spun around. Both of them laughed uncontrollably and Darry couldn't be happier. He loved the play time he and his daddy shared. He watched his father in admiration as his strong arms made him fly high, high. Darrel pulled him close and gave him a bear hug, flopping on the couch and still holding his boy tightly in his arms.

"Dar, I wanna have a little chat with you," his father said, planting him on his knee. "Think you can listen for a minute?"

Eager to please, he nodded and folded his small hands. Darry smiled at his father and waited for him to start talking. He always loved their one on one chats. They made him feel real special.

"You know how you asked Santa for a new little brother or sister this year?"

Darry nodded happily. He remembered, alright. He'd even gone down to see the department store Santa, just to put in another good word. He wanted to be sure his message got through.

"Yupp, I did. But I wanna brudder. No sidders."

"Well, you must have been a real good boy last year," he said, tickling his son gently. "'Cause Mommy and Daddy are gonna have another baby! You're gonna get your wish, Dar-Bear."

His blue eyes lit up and he was overwhelmed with excitement. A new baby, for him! Mama had told him if he was a real good boy and learned some "sponsabullty" he could be a big brother and help take care of the baby.

He clapped his hands together. "Oh, really? Yay! I gonna have a baby brudder!"

Smiling at his son, Darrel reasoned, "You're gonna have a baby brother _or_ sister. I know you really, really wanna brother, but it might be a baby sister. And that'll be okay, too."

He watched as Darry thought about it for a minute, the gears in his young head working hard. Darry had always been rather bright and never shied away from learning something new. Other than teaching him about sports, Darrel absolutely loved to watch his son think.

While his daddy was busy thinking that, Darry was busy thinking about the baby. It would be a boy. He didn't want any sidders. As he looked at his mommy's tummy, he could practically see his little brother growing. It would be a boy. It _had_ to be!

"A sidder's otay," he said, slowly, "But a brudder's gonna be bestest. Oh, boy!"

His insistence at having a baby brother made both of his parents laugh and Darrel kissed him on the cheek, bouncing him playfully on his leg. Darry would be a great big brother, Darrel thought proudly. He would teach his son all that the four-year-old could absorb and help Darry be responsible for his baby sibling. They would take care of each other no matter what. Darrel would be sure that his kids always had someone else looking out for them.

On his knee, Darry giggled loudly and lifted his teddy in the air. Although he was young, Darry would always remember the talk he and his father had. Darrel taught him everything he knew about being a good big brother.

ooooo

After months of impatient waiting, October finally rolled around and along with it, came Darry's dream come true - he got his baby brother.

He watched as the tiny, blanketed bundle wiggled in their mothers arms. She laughed quietly and kissed the baby's head, earning a loud squeal. Darry felt excitement growing as the bundle gurgled and cooed. He had a baby brudder.

"Mama, what's 'is name? Is he a Darry, too?"

Darrel chuckled softly from his seat near the bed. "Nope, we're the only Darry's, kiddo. The new baby's name is Sodapop."

Darry noticed his mama roll her eyes, but her soft smile stayed in place. He scrunched his nose up and grinned at his daddy.

"Soderpop? 'Cause he bubbles?"

Both of his parents laughed loudly and the baby made a noise that, had he been older, could have passed for a laugh. Darry beamed at them, pleased to have made his parents that happy.

"Yessir," Darrel chuckled, patting his son on the back. "'Cause the baby bubbles."

Leaning over with a grin, Darry peered down into the face of his new brother. Dark brown eyes peered back at him curiously and Darry gave the baby his finger to hold. Sodapop clung to him tightly and stared intently up at him, not making any noise and Darry felt a burst of love for his brother.

"Hi there, Soderpop. We're gonna be buddies. I'm your brudder," Darry crooned, speaking softly so he didn't startle his brother. "I love you, brudder."

Darrel kissed the back of his boy's head and pulled him to his chest. "He loves you too, Dar-Bear. Lookit, he's watchin' you."

He grinned proudly as Darry realized he was right. Sodapop was transfixed, his brown eyes not leaving Darry's face. He had never felt so warm and happy inside. Darry loved being a big brother.

XxX

**Age Seven**

Seven-year-old Darry stepped back to admire his painting job. He was helping his dad paint the littlest bedroom for the new baby. There was gonna be _another_ new baby in the house. Darry was excited for another brother or a sister to watch out for, but he had nothing on Soda. His three-year-old brother was bustling through the neighborhood, telling anyone who would listen that he was gonna have a baby "sibbing". Grinning, he turned to his dad and pointed at the green wall.

"Lookit, I got my spot all done!"

Darrel smiled proudly at his son and nodded, dropping his own paintbrush. "Looks good there, Dar! The baby's gonna love it."

He nodded happily and studied the rest of the room, comparing his work to his dad's. Darry felt real proud. Just then, Sodapop came tottering in the room, a bottle in one hand, and his toy horse in the other. He was grinning ear to ear and singing some song he made up. Darry had to smile at him.

"Hey, Pepsi. Got your pony?"

His brother nodded cheerfully and held it out to him, "My pony!"

Darry took it from him and Soda made his way to the wall, sticking his hand in the bucket of green paint before either Darry or his father could react. Darrel burst into cheery laughter and picked Soda up, hands streaming with paint.

"You wanna help paint, buddy?"

Soda was nodding eagerly and Darry watched as his dad let Soda press his hands against a spot on the wall, near the closet door. He loved watching his dad take care of his younger brother. Darry tried hard to be as kind and patient as his dad was, but sometimes it was hard. Still, he tried.

When he had finished, Darry held out his pony to him. "Here's your pony back, Pepsi!"

Bypassing the horse completely, Soda, with a devilish grin, smeared the green paint all over Darry's shirt. He was giggling maddeningly and Darry stared at his shirt, assessing the damage. His brothers laughter, though, was infectious and any anger he may have felt immediately disappeared. A sgrin of his own spread and Darry dunked his hands in the paint bucket as well, patting Soda on the head. He laughed even harder and soon, Darrel was joining them in their happiness.

His mom came down to see what was going on and found all three of her men covered in bright green paint. She held her stomach as she laughed as well, settling down much easier than the rest of them. Darry took a deep breath and wiped his hands on his shirt.

"I'll help clean Sodapop up, Mama."

"I'd appreciate that, Darry. Thank you," she said, smiling warmly at him. "You can take a nice, warm bath after dinner."

He smiled and nodded, taking his younger brother by the hand and leading him into the bathroom. "Sit right there and I'll help wash you right up."

Soda swung his legs over the side of the tub, kicking his feet and humming. Darry grabbed some towels and began wiping Soda's face off, drawing more giggles out of his bubbly little brother. As he wiped, Soda began to crinkle his face up, a sign he was deep in thought.

"Whatcha thinkin' 'bout, Pepsi?"

He tipped his head and shrugged. "The baby."

"Yeah, I bet you're excited, huh," Darry said, grinning when Soda nodded. "You get to be a big brother now!"

Frowning, Soda asked, "Where you goin'?"

Darry smiled and thumped his nose softly. "Right here, silly. But you get to be the new baby's big brother and I'm gonna be both of you's big brother."

"I'm be good big brudder," he insisted, crossing his arms to show any argument was futile.

He nodded and sat beside Soda on the edge of the tub. "You're right, you will be! I'm gonna teach you everythin' about bein' a big brother. The baby is gonna love you, Pepsi!"

Those dark brown eyes lit up and Soda threw his wet arms around Darry's middle. "Love you Dar!"

"I love you too, Sodapop!"

ooooo

When Ponyboy was born, Darry felt that familiar warmth in his chest. He loved the new baby just as much as he had loved Soda when he was born. Except this time, he sat back and let Soda interact with him. He watched as Soda offered Ponyboy his finger and smiled when the baby latched onto him, the same way that Soda had to Darry's finger. Darry felt so much love for his brothers, he thought he might explode. He felt something else, though, as well. Darry was proud.

"Mama! He's my Pony now," Soda insisted, using the hushed tones Darry had taught him about. "I gots a Pony now!"

Darry giggled into his hand, realizing just how right his youngest brothers name fit. He _was_ a Ponyboy. Just the same way that Soda was Soda. It fit them and he loved them both so much for it. They were the best baby brothers a kid could ever have and watching the two of them bond together made him feel like the luckiest kid on earth. Darry knew he would do anything for the two of them and he smiled, watching them like a proud father.

He had no idea that growing up, they would one day be his kryptonite.

XxX

**Age Ten**

Groaning, Darry followed his father around the house. "Dad, do I gotta be in charge? I was gonna go play with Paul an' the other guys down at the park."

"Darry," his father said, using his stern voice. "You've just gotta watch Sodapop for us. Mrs. Trumble is comin' over to keep an eye on Ponyboy. You can watch your brother for a little while, I'm sure. After we get back you can go play with your friends. Deal?"

"Yeah, alright," he grumbled.

Amy stuck her head around the corner and gave him "the look" that said he'd better shape up. Turning back to his dad, he said, "Yessir. I'll watch Soda for you."

Darrel clapped him on the back and grinned at him. "Good boy. I knew I could count on you. We'll be back in a little while. Sodapop, you mind your brother, hear me?"

"Yes, Daddy," his tiny voice called from down the hall, followed by a loud fit of Ponyboy's giggles. Darry grinned in spite of his frustration.

His mother kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush furiously. "Aw, Ma. You'll get that lip stuff on me."

Both of his parents laughed as he scrubbed at his cheek and Darrel wrapped him in a hug, ruffling his hair affectionately. They headed out the front door as the sitter, Mrs. Trumble, came in. Sighing, Darry greeted her kindly and headed back down the hall to where his brothers were playing. Soda had several of his toy horses sprawled out on the floor and Ponyboy was trying to keep them all standing while he knocked them down. A strange game, but they seemed to be content.

"Mrs. Trumble's here," he announced, sitting on the edge of his bed.

He and Soda shared a bedroom, Ponyboy in the nursery next door. Half of the time, Soda dragged the sleeping bag over into Ponyboy's room to sleep by him. It made Darry smile to see how close the two of them had gotten. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he realized he was fifteen minutes late. He was supposed to have met the guys at the park by three.

"Hey, uh, Sodapop," he said, slowly, "You wanna go with me down to the park?"

Just like he'd expected, Soda's eyes lit up and he nodded. "Yeah! Let's go!"

Ponyboy looked up at them with sad eyes. "You leavin'?"

That snapped Soda back to present and Darry was suddenly afraid his plans would be foiled. Quickly, he tried to remedy the situation.

"We aren't leavin' ya, Pone. We're just gonna go down to the park for a little while. I'd bring you along, but you're just gettin' rid of that cold you got," Darry soothed, rubbing his brothers back.

He was young, but it was clear to everyone around him that Ponyboy was bright. He was very sensitive, as well, and Darry felt a stab of guilt as his sniffled and nodded.

"Okay, Darry."

Uncertain, Soda glanced between his two brothers. "I dunno, maybe we oughta stay, Darry."

Football on his mind, Darry shook his head. "We'll only be gone for a little while and Mrs. Trumble will be here with Pony. C'mon, Soda! See you in a bit, Pone!"

Quickly giving his youngest brother a kiss on the head, he hurried down the hall and out the door, Soda right on his heels. Mrs. Trumble called something about not going too far and Darry waved over his shoulder to show that he heard her. Up ahead, the park was coming into view and he could see the football game already in motion. Groaning, he sped up and Soda cried out for him to slow up. Soda wasn't the quickest runner, he remembered with a small grin, and slowed his steps so he could keep up.

"I'm gonna go play football with the guys," he hollered over his shoulder. "You stay on the playground and don't run off. I gotta keep an eye on you!"

Soda waved him off with a grin and took off for the slides, a wide grin on his face. Darry's friends greeted him happily and Paul clapped him on the back.

"Curtis! We thought you weren't gonna make it, man!"

Darry grinned. "Sure! Just had to bring my kid brother along. Let's play."

The game was on.

His team was winning, completely destroying the other team, when he heard him. The sound of his scream made Darry's bones turn to ice, his stomach seizing up. Soda was screaming for him. Whipping around, Darry searched the playground quickly for his little brother, and he finally found him. Soda was laying on the ground near the swings, a couple of kids gathering around him.

Taking off at a full run, Darry raced over to Soda's side, fear and adrenaline pumping through him. Some of his friends came with him and Darry told one of them to go get their sitter. He saw Paul's brother, Jimmy, take off in the direction of the Curtis' house. Darry reached his brother and dropped to the ground beside him. Tears were coursing down Soda's cheeks and he cradled his right arm to his chest carefully.

"Darry, I broke my arm," he whimpered, his face pale and scared. "It hurts real bad."

"I know, Pepsi, I know," Darry soothed, putting his arm carefully around his little brother. "I've gotcha now, though. You're gonna be okay, Pepsi. I promise."

Soda sniffled and looked at all of the people around him, looking extremely embarrassed. Darry took the hint and turned to Paul.

"Think you could get rid of some of them kids for me?"

He nodded and started getting rid of some of the kids. Darry was grateful and turned his attention back to Soda, sitting beside his little brother and trying to think of a way to make his brother forget about his arm.

"I'm scared, Darry." His voice was tiny and Darry felt his heart break at his words.

Carefully, so as to not hurt his arm any more, Darry held Soda close and hugged him. "Don't be scared, Pepsi. I'm here. I won't let nothin' bad happen to you. You're gonna be fine, okay? What on earth were you doin' on the swings anyways?"

He felt Soda grin against his chest. "I tried to jump off like Steve Randle does. I guess I gotta practice more, huh?"

"I guess so," Darry agreed, laughing in spite of it all. "But you aren't practicin' any time soon, buddy. Gotta fix that arm up first."

"Will it hurt?"

"Nah," he insisted, squeezing Soda's good shoulder gently. "'Sides, I bet if you're real good, Dad'll get you ice cream."

Down the street, Darry heard Mrs. Trumble coming, yelling in her loud, tinny voice. Grimacing, Darry had a feeling she wouldn't be the only adult yelling at him that day. He gave Soda one more reassuring squeeze and waited for the start of the storm.

ooooo

"Not to mention, you completely disobeyed your father. And now, your brother has a broken arm because of your careless actions. Darry, I am very disappointed in you. You should know better. That football game was not so important that you had to go behind our backs and put your brother at risk the way you did. I thought you had learned more responsibility than that." His mother was on a roll and Darry couldn't meet her eyes, staring at his dirty sneakers instead.

He hated to let her down. He hated hearing that sad, disappointment in her voice. He hated to see that look in her eyes when he knew she had been counting on him and he'd let her down. He hated to hurt his mother.

But above all, he'd disappointed his father. And that cut deeper than any blade.

Darrel was sitting in his new recliner, remaining silent through the whole ordeal. His normally happy eyes were solemn and there was no hint of a smile on his cheery face. Darry wished he would do something - yell, pace the room, anything. The silence was eating him alive. It made him feel lower than low.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" His mother finished, waiting for him to say his peace.

Glancing up, he finally met her eyes and felt immense shame wash over him. She was right. It _had _been his fault. Soda had broken his arm because of him. He had to watch out for his brothers better than that. Putting that football game before them had been stupid. How could he have made such a dumb mistake? Tears burned his eyes, but he blinked them back.

"I'm real, _real_ sorry," he whispered, resuming his staring at his shoes. "What I did was wrong and I shouldn't have gone to that game. I feel awful that Sodapop broke his arm and it was all my fault. I didn't mean to disappoint either of you. I'm real sorry I did it. It won't happen again."

"Darry."

It was the first time his father had spoken and Darry tentatively turned his gaze upon the man he worshipped. He wished he could just sink right into the floor, anything to get away from that sad look his dad was fixing him with. Darry felt lower than he ever thought possible.

"I think you owe your brothers an apology as well. _Both_ of them. And I think for the next two weeks you can spend some time with them while you're grounded."

He bowed his head. "Yes, sir."

Soda called out from the bedroom and their mom hurried down the hall to see what he needed. Darry felt a stab of guilt and wondered if it would ever go away. He'd let them all down and that wasn't a feeling he liked. In fact, he despised it.

His dad cleared his throat and motioned for Darry to come over to him. "Darry, you know we still love you, right?"

Nodding, he gave his dad as big of a hug as he could physically manage. His dad squeezed back, hard. It was a rare moment when Darry showed affection, but he had to know things would be okay. He didn't like feeling so dumb.

"You've just gotta keep an eye on Soda and Ponyboy," he continued, speaking much kinder now. "They're smaller than you are, Dar and they look up to you. You've gotta set a good example for your brothers. They love you an awful lot, Darry."

"I know. Dad, I'm real sorry. It won't happen again."

"And you know what," Darrel replied, giving him a small smile. "I believe you, kiddo. I don't think you'll ever make that mistake again 'cause I can see that on your face. Just remember what it felt like, okay? Why don't you go see what your brother needed."

Darry agreed and headed down the hallway. In their room, Soda was propped up in bed and giggling as their mother spoke softly to him, Ponyboy sitting at the foot of his bed. Awkwardly, Darry scuffed his shoe to make a noise and his family turned to see him. Amy's eyes softened and she got up from her post by Soda's side.

"I'll bring you boys a snack in a little while," she said, stopping by Darry and putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Can we have some cookies, Ma? Only a few," Soda amended sheepishly, still grinning in spite of his new cast.

Their mother thought it over and Darry shrugged, "I'll make sure they don't eat too many, Ma."

She gave him a warm look and hugged her oldest son to her, making Darry feel much better about himself. Their mother had that special ability to make people feel better with a simple hug or a smile. He felt a fierce love for his mother at that moment and hugged her harder.

"Alright, I'll bring you down some cookies," she agreed, patting him on the back softly before heading back down the hallway.

Silence fell between the three brothers and Pony glanced between his two big brothers, realizing something was different, but too young to know just what. Darry shuffled again, trying to figure out where to start.

"So, uh, whatcha doin'?"

Soda grinned and pointed at Ponyboy, "We were gonna color my cast and make it look neat, weren't we, Pone?"

His little head bobbed enthusiastically and he hurried over to the box of crayons on the floor, bringing them over to Soda's side. "I want green."

"Maybe ... maybe I could help?"

"Sure!" Soda's enthusiasm made Darry smile.

That was one thing special about his kid brother - he never seemed to hold much of a grudge.

"Hey, Sodapop?"

"Yeah, Dar?"

"I'm awful sorry 'bout your arm. I shouldn'ta gone to that game."

Soda gave him an honest smile and shrugged. "It's okay, Darry. I forgive ya. Now get over here and help me color!"

He laughed loudly and crawled in bed with his brothers, grabbing a red crayon and getting to work. They spent the rest of the afternoon coloring, eating cookies, and joking around. Darry loved his kid brothers and after learning the lesson he did, he knew he wouldn't ever put their needs second. Things like football could wait. Things like brothers, well, they were just more important.

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks for reading this. Updates won't be regular as this isn't prewritten. Sorry 'bout that.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Wow, I really didn't expect to see so many people reading this. Seriously, I'm kind of stunned. Much appreciated! Ignore any typos please and thanks.

Just in case you were interested, this series will (for the most part) follow the same line of events that were seen in _From Boy to Man _and also _Young At Heart_. The ages may be a bit off, but the general idea is there. Again, ignore any mistakes made between transferring of the ages and such. I wrote those a while back and never thought to cross-reference them.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. S.E. Hinton owns _The Outsiders._

* * *

**Age Thirteen**

Darry turned left and right, admiring his face in the mirror. Sure enough, just above his lip he'd begun sprouting a moustache. As he ran his hands over his cheeks, he grinned, feeling a slight brush of stubble against his fingers. He'd finally done it; he was growing a beard.

"Hey, Dad! Dad, come in here for a minute," he hollered, breaking the silence in the house.

Sticking his head in the bathroom, Darrel grinned at him. "What's on your mind, Darry? You didn't break nothin' did you?"

He beamed at him and shook his head. "Look! Dad, look! I got a beard!"

Darrel's eyes widened in surprise and he came closer, taking Darry's face in his large hands, gently turning it. He whistled lowly and nodded, his own smile spreading.

"Well I'll be. You're officially a grown up," he joked. "Wait a second."

Darry watched as his dad began digging through the drawers, searching for something. His dad finally found it, a small black case, and pulled it out with mock seriousness. Darrel held it out at arm's length and put on a solemn face.

"My son, it is time to teach you the art of shaving."

"Really?" Darry's eyes widened and he felt excitement build in the pit of the stomach. "Hey, isn't that Grampa's shavin' kit?"

Darrel nodded and set it on the counter, opening it carefully to reveal the shaving set inside. "He gave it to me and now, I'm givin' it to you."

"What about Soda?"

He patted Darry on the back and smiled. "Darry, don't worry. He'll still learn to shave! I'll teach him with my kit. But the first of the family gets this set. Been passed down since _my_ Grampa gave it to my dad."

Darry admired the kit with wide eyes. He was finally old enough to be a man. Every morning since he'd been a kid, he remembered watching his dad shave. Darrel used to rub whipped cream on Darry's face and give him a razor without a blade to wipe his face off. It was part of his favorite memories with his father. He loved spending quality time with his dad. As he got older, he had begun realizing that he was like much more similar to his mom than his dad, but that didn't change the fact that he wanted to please him more than anything. His dad was his hero and no one would convince him other than that.

So, Darrel patiently taught Darry everything there was to know, slowly showing him how to shave and avoid as many nicks as possible. Darry soaked up every word, watching his dad in silent reverie as he showed him how to do it. Thirty minutes later they were done and with minimal bleeding. Darry was ecstatic.

"Hey, Dad?"

Darrel turned, smiling at his son. "Yeah, buddy?"

"Thanks."

XxX

**Age Fourteen**

"Because you can't go! Me an' Soda are goin' with Dad. You'll get to go when you're older." Darry rolled his eyes as he packed his fishing gear.

It was time for their yearly fishing trip and this time, Soda got to go along with them. It was tradition that once the boys turned ten, their father took them out on the trip. Darry loved the opportunity to spend time with his dad and was excited to share it with Soda that year. Ponyboy, on the other hand, didn't seem so excited. He was in the garage, watching Darry pack with a sulky look he knew all too well. He was going to put up a good fight and Darry seemed to be the one having to put up with it. He just wasn't in the mood.

"That's not fair," Pony grumbled, climbing on to their dad's workbench.

Despite his irritation, Darry watched carefully out of the corner of his eye as Pony perched precariously close to the edge. He let out a small sigh of relief once his brother settled back, farther away from the edge. Grabbing his fishing pole, Darry turned to his younger brother and tried to break through his stubbornness.

"Look, Pony, Soda couldn't go last year 'cause he was just nine. He gets to go this year now that he's ten. Once you turn ten, Dad'll take you, okay? It's just a tradition. Grampa did the same thing with Dad and he's doin' it with us."

"Still not fair."

Darry gave his brother a small smile as he remembered Soda pitching a similar fit the previous year. That had been easily resolved, though, when their mother had offered to take Soda out to eat wherever he'd wanted to go. His middle brother was a lot easier to please than his youngest was.

He set his stuff down on the ground and offered Pony a hand as he struggled to climb down from the bench. "Kiddo, I promise you'll get to come along. Just not yet, okay? Why don't you and Mom do somethin' fun like she did with Soda last year? Maybe she'll take you down to the bookstore and let you pick somethin' out. You'd like that, I bet. You've been eyeballin' that book in the front window, haven't you?"

Ponyboy shrugged, but Darry could see him starting to give in. He understood - he was just as stubborn as Ponyboy was and somebody telling him no only made him want to do it more. This was different, though. This was sort of a growing up passage that had started years before they were born. Who were they to argue with it?

Running like always, Soda burst into the garage with his happy grin in place. "You ready, Dar? Dad's got the car just 'bout loaded up! C'mon, we gotta go!"

Darry chuckled at his kid brother and pointed at his stocking feet. "You really oughta throw some boots on, Pepsi. You'll have awful wet feet otherwise."

That got a laugh out of Ponyboy and Soda joined in, shrugging. "Yeah, I guess I'll wear some."

He grabbed his boots from the corner of their garage and dug out his fishing pole from the bucket near the bench. Soda gave Pony a sympathetic look and threw his arm around his shoulders.

"Know what I heard? Mama was in the kitchen and I think she's bakin' somethin' special, just for you."

Pony's eyes lit up and Darry watched his younger brothers head for the house, Soda earning another round of giggles from Ponyboy. How he did it, Darry didn't quite understand. He loved Ponyboy just as much as Sodapop, but sometimes he had a hard time understanding his youngest brother. Shrugging, he threw his gear in the trunk of their car and grinned as their dad came down the steps, bags in hand and smile in place.

"Got the car loaded, Darry?"

He nodded and pointed proudly at the stuff in the back. "Soda's stuff is in there too, finally."

Darrel laughed loudly, his cheerful, booming laugh that made everyone around him feel happy. Feeling good, Darry opened the front passenger door and waved goodbye to his mother and Ponyboy, watching them leave from the porch. Soda bounded down the steps, ruffling Ponyboy's hair with a smile. The three of them climbed into their old Ford and pulled out of the driveway, heading for the lake. Darry couldn't contain his excitement, grinning from ear to ear. In the backseat, Soda began singing along with the radio loudly and Darrel soon joined him, the two of them bellowing along to some new tune.

Staring out of his window, Darry couldn't wait to get to the lake. It was one of his favorite things to do and Darry had been counting the days. And now, it was here.

XxX

**Age Fifteen**

"C'mon, Curtis! Let's go!" Paul raced down the hall ahead of him impatiently, Jimmy further ahead of him.

Darry grinned and picked up his pace, jogging to keep up with his friends. The lists had been posted and they were anxious to find out whether or not they had made the Junior Varsity football team. Darry tried to play it off like it wasn't a huge deal, but inside he was beyond nervous. He hadn't wanted something so bad in a long time and he had his fingers crossed that his name would appear on that list.

Down by the gymnasium, a small crowd of boys was gathering. The taller seniors stood out, relaxed and happily clapping hands with their buddies. It was the mob of shorter guys, some happily celebrating and others walking away with hung heads, that Darry could relate to. He felt his stomach clench and searched for Paul.

"You ready man?"

"Let's see those lists," Darry answered, clapping Paul firmly on the back.

His older brother Jimmy was already shoving through the crowd, making a small path for Darry and Paul to follow him through. And then, he was in front of the sheets. He scanned the list, completely passing the C's in his anxiety and then backtracking too far. He took a steadying breath and slowly scanned the entire list.

_Barrington, Dean. Boone, Sam. Bruyer, John. Carlson, Robert. Chippens, Charles. Curtis, Darry._

Curtis.

That was him. He'd made it. Whooping loudly, he turned to Paul and saw the same elation on his face. Darry threw an arm around Paul's shoulders and headed for the front doors of the school, both congratulating each other and themselves. All of the hard work had paid off. The hours practicing with his dad at the lot, the working out, and all of the time he'd put into football as a whole. He had made the team.

"Man, your old man is gonna flip," Paul grinned, slapping hands with him once they were outside.

And Darrel sure did.

When Darry got home, he saw his dad's Ford in the driveway and smiled wider. He didn't have to wait until dinner to tell him. Hurrying in the house, Darry threw down his backpack and kicked off his shoes.

"Mom? Dad? Where're you at?"

Darrel came down the hallway, his cheery grin in place. "Hey, kiddo. Good day?"

"You have no idea," he agreed. "Where's Mom?"

"She's right here." Amelia came in from the kitchen and wiped her hands on her apron. "What's got you so excited, Darry?"

He couldn't contain his excitement and let it out. "I made the JV football team!"

Amy's eyes lit up and Darry could have sworn she would burst with pride. And then there was his father. Darrel was hollering loud enough to bring the roof down and Darry couldn't contain the cheerful laughter that exploded from him. He was swept into a large bear hug from his dad, plenty of laughter and cheering. Amy waited for her chance and wiped her eyes happily. Darry gave her a firm hug, kissing her cheek gently.

"Darry, I am so proud of you," she insisted, taking his face in her hands. "Sweetie, you'll do great."

Blushing, he mumbled, "Thanks, Ma."

She tapped his nose with her finger gently and then let him go, still beaming at him. Darrel grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him fondly.

"Would you look at that? Amy, he's already JV at fifteen. Can we say college scholarships?"

Darry laughed happily and hugged his dad back firmly. Neither of his parents had been able to attend college, so he knew how important it was to them that he make it. Football scholarships would just pave the way for him. Darry felt like he could float.

"So when do practices start? You gotta get ready, buddy! You'll have big games before you know it and they'll send scouts to 'em," Darrel rambled, his excitement never lessening.

"Darrel, slow down," Amy reminded him gently. She turned to Darry and gave him a broad smile. "You know you gotta keep those grades up, right?"

He nodded, "Yes, ma'am. I'll work twice as hard, I promise. I won't let you down."

"Well I gotta get the grill ready! We're havin' a celebration cookout," Darrel exclaimed, clapping his hands together.

Darry laughed and shook his head, watching his dad hurry out to the backyard to get cooking. His mom was watching Darry with that same smile on her face. With one last quick kiss, Darry headed for the backyard to help. If he learned anything from his dad, it was to always take time to celebrate, even the smallest of victories. And tonight, it was his celebration.

ooooo

Darry groaned for the tenth time and recombed his hair, silently cursing the cowlick he'd inherited from his dad. He had about fifteen minutes before he was due to pick up his date and he didn't feel ready at all.

It was his first official date. Sure, he'd kissed Louise McLellan in the second grade and he'd taken Betsy Cormack to the dance in eighth grade, but those weren't official. This was and boy could he feel the difference.

His stomach was tied in so many knots, he wasn't sure it would ever come undone. Darry wiped his sweaty hands on his pants for the hundredth time and glared at his hair, wishing it would just look good the way Soda's did. He just had to have his dad's hair. Groaning again, he attempted to flatten it out.

Darrel stuck his head in the bathroom and gave him a small grin. "Need any help there, bud?"

Exasperated, Darry gave him a look and his dad chuckled coming into the bathroom to assess the damage. "How's about some hairspray?"

He shrugged and let his dad work his magic on his hair, combing and fixing it. Darrel finally set the comb and hairspray down and grabbed for his bottle of cologne. Handing it over, he gave it to Darry and smiled.

"Just a couple pumps will do the trick."

He followed his dad's directions carefully and mumbled a quiet thanks. Darrel put a hand on his shoulder and made his son look up at him.

"You nervous, Darry?"

"A little," he admitted, shifting his gaze back to his shoes. "What if I do somethin' stupid?"

Darrel chuckled and leaned against the doorway. "Darry, that's in your nature to do somethin' stupid. You're a guy. It's what we do. Just be yourself and you'll have a great time."

"Sounds so easy," Darry muttered, grinning a bit.

"Well yeah," his dad agreed. "Always sounds easy when you say it. It's hard to actually _do_ it. Just relax, though. You'll be fine."

He gave his dad a grateful smile. "Thanks, Dad."

"No problem, kiddo. And uh, there's somethin' else, too," Darrel added, shuffling uncomfortably. "Your mom thought I oughta talk to you about ... well, you know."

Darry was clueless for a minute and then it clicked. The talk. Oh, God.

"Oh, God! Dad!" He shoved his way out of the bathroom, face a bright crimson.

"Hey, I don't wanna do this anymore than you do," Darrel insisted, following him to his room. "Just uh ... use, you know, protection. But just be responsible. Uh, yeah. That's it. Anything else?"

"All set, thanks Dad."

Darrel nodded and hurried back down the hall, putting an end to the extremely awkward conversation. Once he was gone, Darry let out a nervous chuckle and realized how horrible that had to have been for his dad to try to spit out, let alone for him to try and listen to. Out in the living room he heard his mother laugh and he figured his dad had reported back to her that the mission was accomplished.

With one last look in the mirror, he went out to where his parents were waiting, his dad now suddenly engrossed in his newspaper. Amy, thought, had only eyes for him. Once he rounded the corner, Darry could see her eyes fill with tears and he felt a burst of love for her. She gave him a gentle hug and Darry realized that mixed in her happy smile was a hint of sadness.

"Ma, what's wrong?"

She shook her head and patted his cheek. "Oh, nothin'. You're just growin' up on me."

"Mom, I'm still a kid," he insisted, his cheeks getting hot once again. "I'll always be your kid."

"Yeah, but some day you won't be my little boy any more," she said softly. "You won't need me like you do now and I'm just sad, that's all. But I am so, so proud of you, Darry."

Amy gave him a kiss on the cheek and he took her hand in his. He never liked showing much emotion, unless it was to his family, and Darry knew she needed it then.

"I love you, Mom," he told her. "And like it or not, I'm always gonna need you. Even when I'm old and gray and hobblin' around with a cane."

That earned a laugh from both of his parents and Darrel seemed to overcome his previous embarrassment, standing up to join them. "Hear that, Amelia? He'll be livin' with us 'til he's eighty four."

"Eighty five," he corrected with a smile. "I prolly oughta head over to Linda's house. Don't wanna be late."

"Here." Darrel slapped some spare cash in his hand and closed it around the bills. "Treat your lady right."

"Open the doors for her and pay for her meal. Compliment her and be polite. Make me proud, sweetie." Amy gave him one last hug and softly pushed him towards the door.

With one last, steadying breath, Darry made his way out of his house. It was his first date and as he began to walk to her house, he felt the nerves loosen slightly and give way to a new feeling.

He was excited.

XxX

**Age Seventeen**

Darry ran his hands through his hair and took a steadying breath, trying to stay calm. The paper he had spent nearly a week writing was missing and the only person that had been home that afternoon was eleven-year-old Ponyboy. He didn't think his kid brother had anything to do with it, but he couldn't be sure. That kid never did think.

"Ponyboy!" His voice was loud and carried easily through the house.

Their parents were out for dinner that night, leaving the boys home. Soda was in the living room watching TV with Steve, leaving Ponyboy in his room doing God knows what. Darry angrily shuffled through the papers on his desk once more, double checking that he hadn't missed the important essay.

"Yeah, Darry?" Pony stuck his head in his door tentatively.

Pointing at his desk, Darry barked, "You were in here earlier, weren't you?"

His youngest brothers eyes widened a bit. "W-well yeah. Soda told me I could come in and use his desk, since mine's still dryin' from when Dad painted it."

He rolled his eyes and tried to reign in his frustration. "Well that don't give you a right to go through _my _stuff, Ponyboy. What d'you do with my essay? It was right here, on top of my stuff."

Darry watched as Ponyboy frowned in concentration, staring at his desk. Then a strange new expression appeared and Pony's face blanched. He knew it.

"Ponyboy ..."

He shrunk back a bit. "I'm sorry, Darry. I didn't know it was anythin' important..."

"That was my midterm essay, Ponyboy! I have to have that in by tomorrow or I'll fail that class! What did you do with it? Just give it here."

Pony disappeared for a moment and slowly came back, trudging towards him with his hands behind his back. Darry had a bad feeling about whatever his brother was holding.

"Well, I asked Sodapop if we had anymore of that plain paper," he began, whispering. "He said I oughta check in his room. So, I did. I looked on his desk and there wasn't none, but ... but there was paper on yours. The first page didn't have hardly nothin' on it and I-I thought it was a stack of ... Darry, I'm real sorry."

He stared at his shoes as he held out the remains of Darry's ten page essay. There were doodles and colored drawings covering every last page.

"What the hell? Ponyboy, this is _not_ your room! You can't just come in here and start takin' other peoples stuff! Look what you did!" He shook the pages in front of his kid brother, ignoring the fact that angry tears had sprung to Ponyboy's eyes.

"I didn't mean to," he insisted. "Once I realized there was stuff on it, I stopped. But I couldn't erase it all. Darry, I'm sorry."

Scoffing, he replied, "Yeah, well, tell that to my teacher! He's gonna have my ass nailed to the wall thanks to you!"

Soda and Steve had come down the hall to see what the racket was about. When Soda threw an arm around Ponyboy's shoulders, it did nothing but irritate Darry even more.

"What's goin' on, Dar?"

He pointed an angry finger at Ponyboy. "Ask him! Look what he did to my damn paper, Soda! You can't tell him he can just come in here whenever he wants. It ain't just your room and he's just a kid."

"I'm not just a kid," Ponyboy burst out indignantly. "Stop treatin' me like a baby, Darry!"

Ponyboy pulled away from Soda and went into his room, slamming the door behind him. Steve sneered and shook his head. He didn't have any siblings at home, what did he know, Darry thought angrily. Soda was giving him the look he knew too well and he shook his head in preparation.

"Don't give me the speech, Soda. I gotta get this paper fixed." Turning away, he cleared off his desk and prepared to redo the entire thing.

"He _is _just a kid, Darry," Soda said softly. "Don't be so hard on him."

Soda left, quietly entering Ponyboy's room and Steve made his way back into the living room. Groaning, Darry rubbed his face with his hand and quickly shuffled through the pages of his essay, assessing the damage.

In spite of his irritation, Darry couldn't help but notice the sketches were good. They were much better than anything he was doodling at Pony's age and scores better than Soda's scribbles. Shifting through the pages, he admired the horses and other animals sketched. Then, he turned over the title page and felt his breath hitch in his throat.

Staring back at him was a crude drawing, but the gist of it was clear. Ponyboy had drawn him along with Sodapop. He had drawn the three of them, sitting together on their porch watching the sun set. Their mother loved to watch the sun go down and Pony always dragged them out to watch it with him. It seemed that those moments made a lasting impression and Darry let out a long sigh.

Pony was good. He was damn good. Even though their backs were turned, it was obvious that Pony had drawn the three of them. He had drawn himself in the middle and both Soda and Darry had an arm around him, the way they often sat. It made Darry's chest hurt as he remembered what he'd done.

He had hollered at Ponyboy, for what? Drawing? Could he really be angry at him after seeing something like this? All of the anger rushed out of him and guilt took its place. He loved Pony, sure, but they just didn't get each other. Not all of the time. When they talked about sports or even schoolwork, Darry understood him real good. They were so alike, it scared him.

Then there were those daydream times when he saw Pony go off into his own little world and he was lost to everyone around him. That drove Darry nuts. He wanted to know what went on in that wild head of his, but no one knew that except Ponyboy. And often times, Soda. Another thing beyond his comprehension was their relationship. They knew each other better than Soda and Steve knew each other. Even better than Darry knew them. And sometimes, that bugged him.

He was happy to see them bond the way they had, but it made him feel on the outs sometimes. Darry admired the picture in front of him with a smile. Apparently, it was all in his mind. Ponyboy certainly didn't see any distance between them, having drawn them close and united. He needed to try harder to understand his kid brother, he thought. And what was the big deal anyways? So he had to rewrite the paper. It wasn't ruined.

Darry rubbed his face and grabbed some blank sheets of paper out of his desk, starting the process of rewriting his essay, carefully putting Pony's pictures off to the side. He would apologize later, but right now, he had to get this paper rewritten. He would make things right, though. Darry always tried to.

* * *

**A/N:** A very minor shoutout out to _Supernatural _ in here...kudos to anyone that finds it. Again, many thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I seriously can't believe how many people are reading this. Thank you so much! I updated early to show my appreciation. I can't thank you enough. Quite a long chapter ahead. Please ignore any typos.

**Warning** - this is a **sad** chapter. Not kidding. I apologize in advance.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. S.E. Hinton owns _The Outsiders._

* * *

**Age Twenty**

It was cold out.

One of the coldest nights Tulsa had seen in a long time and there was a storm making its way towards them. Darry glared out of the window sullenly. His birthday had been, so far, pretty great. The only problem was there was a surprise in store for him. Ponyboy and Soda were in good spirits about the surprise they had for him later, but everyone was remaining rather quiet about the whole thing. Even his parents weren't saying much, driving Darry up the wall.

He hated surprises. He didn't like not knowing what was going on or what to expect and even though he knew they were doing it for him, it still drove him crazy. Darrel came into the living room, bundled up in his jacket and gloves, with a wide smile on his face. It grew even wider at the sulky look on Darry's face.

"Darry, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were bein' pouty. And on your birthday, of all days," he chided.

Groaning, he shrugged. "You know how I am with surprises, Dad. Where're y'all goin' tonight, anyways?"

"That," his mother interjected, throwing her own jacket on. "Is a surprise. And trust me, sweetheart, I think you'll like it."

Pony and Soda appeared, messing around and laughing as they got ready. Darry had to grin a bit in spite of his mood - his brothers were such knuckleheads. He glanced out the front window and saw fresh snow beginning to fall. They were forecasting for a good size storm to hit and Tulsa was right in line for some heavy snowfall. Darry hated the snow.

His mom was looking out of the window as well and glanced back at his younger brothers. "Maybe you two better stay in. It's gettin' awful nasty outside and I don't think either of you needs to be out in the cold after gettin' over that flu last week."

Soda moaned loudly in protest. "Aw, c'mon, Mom! You promised we could come with you! We wanna see ... uh, you know. You told us we could go."

Beside him, Pony put on his most pathetic face and their dad laughed heartily. "Oh c'mon, boys. I think your mom's right - you just started feelin' better. No sense in gettin' sick all over again. We'll only be gone for a little bit. Just gotta pick a couple of things up and then we'll be back. You won't miss anything, kiddos."

Darry laughed as his brothers looked completely dejected. "C'mon, guys. It's not so bad, stayin' home with me."

"I know," Soda agreed, his former cheery mood returning. "Maybe we can find somethin' good on TV. Hey, Pone! How 'bout I teach you the finer points of poker?"

Ponyboy shrugged and took his coat off, throwing it on the couch. His mom wrapped him in a gentle hug and rubbed his back, one of the things that always made Darry feel better. Darrel clapped Soda on the back and pulled him into a one armed hug.

"Alright, we'll be back before eight. You boys keep the house warm and stay outta trouble, you hear?" Darrel pointed at each of them, trying to be serious, but his grin broke through and ruined the effect.

"Yessir," they agreed.

Amelia kissed each of her boys, Darry last, before she grabbed the door. "Behave, boys. We'll be back soon. Love you!"

"Love you too, Mom."

And with that, they were gone.

ooooo

Eight o'clock came and went, but their parents never appeared. Darry stayed calm, not letting his brothers see the fear that was creeping through him with every passing minute. His parents were never late. Never.

By nine thirty, Darry knew something was wrong. He could tell Soda knew it too, but they worked to keep Ponyboy distracted. Eventually, he tired out and fell asleep on the couch. Carefully, Darry picked him up and carried him down to his room, tucking him in gently. When he came back out into the living room, Soda was waiting for him with worried eyes.

"Darry, why aren't they home yet?"

He sighed and sat in their dad's favorite chair. "I dunno, Pepsi. They'll be back, though. Don't worry too much."

Easier said than done, he thought wryly, leaning back and trying to relax. His mind was going a million miles an hour, thinking of all of the reasons they hadn't come home yet. All of them led to dead ends. Even if they had run into car trouble, or got talking to an old friend, their mom would have called. She always called.

The knock on the door came shortly after ten that night. Soda was asleep on the couch, his arm hanging limply over the side of the couch. Darry nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the firm knocking and it wasn't until he was out of the chair that he realized the meaning behind that knock. None of their friends ever knocked before coming in. Their door had always been unlocked and everyone knew that, which meant this was no ordinary caller. This was bad.

Darry felt his stomach clench in fear, but he stood up tall and opened the door. The minute he did, he knew. There were two police officers on the porch and once they saw him, they removed their hats. Darry's mind went blank, his parents faces dancing in his mind.

"Y-yes?"

"Is this the house of Darrel and Amelia Curtis?" The officer spoke gently, but Darry could tell it was a question he'd asked far too many times.

"Yes. They're my, _our_ parents. I'm their oldest son, Darry. What happened? Are they alright?"

Even then, he had a hint of hope. Deep down, a glimmer had still been there. It wasn't until the officers bowed their head in respect that he knew and felt everything begin to fall around him. Everything he had ever known was suddenly gone.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Darry. Your parents were in a serious car accident earlier this evening. There were no survivors. We're so sorry for your loss."

His words fell on deaf ears. Darry had heard all he needed to know. His parents were gone. His mother, the most beautiful and kind-hearted woman he'd ever known. His father, his hero. Gone. Behind him, he heard Soda stir and felt a wave of panic crash over him. Who was supposed to take care of his brothers? Who was going to take care of him?

"Is there anyone you can call," the officer asked kindly.

He shook his head, feeling detached from the entire scene. "No. It's just us."

The police officers glanced between each other and shuffled a bit uncomfortably. "We hate to have you do this, son, but ... well, we need someone to come down and identify them. It's just standard procedure. Is there anyone you'd like to have do that? We could give them a call."

Darry thought of his parents, his dad an only child and his mother, an older sister. Their aunt Lillian had died years ago. There was absolutely no one. Never in his life had Darry felt so alone.

"No, there's no one. I'll do it." His voice was steady and calm, eerie to his ears.

He felt like he was above the scene, simply watching it take place. Soda was awake now, blearily stumbling off of the couch and to the door.

"Dar, what's goin' ... oh, God."

Turning to his little brother, Darry felt the first wave of pain crash over him. It started in his gut and flooded his entire chest, making its way up his throat until he thought he would choke on it. The look on Soda's face didn't help - the half-asleep look quickly giving way into confusion and then anguish.

"I'm sorry, Pepsi. I'm so sorry," he whispered, reaching out for him.

Soda's eyes flooded with tears and he shook his head, rushing towards the cops. "No! Get the hell out of here! Mom and Dad ... no, they're fine! They're lyin'. Darry, tell me they're lyin'!"

He couldn't tell him, so he simply shook his head, wrapping his shaking brother in his arms and hugging him. Soda broke down, sobbing loudly. Tears coursed down his cheeks and his tried desperately to pull away from Darry, to get away from it all. Darry held firm, blinking away his own tears. He couldn't cry. Not now. There would be time for that later, but right now, family came first. He had to take care of his brothers.

"Pepsi, shhhh. It'll be okay. Don't wake Ponyboy just yet, okay? We can't wake him up yet. Shh, Soda. You're okay. It's okay." He tried to soothe his brother desperately, but it didn't do much.

Soda quieted his sobs, trying to keep them from disturbing their little brother. He wouldn't be the one to tell him, though. Darry had to. It was his responsibility. They all were, now. Glancing at the clock, he thought of the people he could call and came up short. Then he remembered Virginia Mathews, Two-Bit's mother. She and his mom were good friends. She would help out, he knew it.

He gave Soda a gentle squeeze and whispered to him. "Soda, I gotta make a phone call and then go with the police for a few minutes. It's gonna be okay, though. I promise it will be."

His brother looked at him through tear-clouded eyes and shook his head. "How is it gonna be okay, Darry? _How_?"

"I dunno, little buddy. But it will be. C'mon, let me use the phone real quick."

Darry dialed the Mathews' number and waited. She answered on the third ring and said very little on the phone. Ginny would be there in five minutes. When he hung up, he turned back to Soda and glanced down the hall towards Ponyboy's room.

"Mrs. Mathews is gonna stay with you two while I go down to the station. Don't wake him up just yet. If he gets up, call me there. I'll come straight home."

Soda nodded weakly, still too stunned to say much. Not five minutes later, Ginny was there, pale but calm and collected. She shook hands with the police officers and gave both Soda and Darry warm, firm hugs.

"Anything you need, let me know," she said quietly to Darry. "I mean that. Amy is ... _was_ my best friend and I'll be damned if I don't do anything I can now."

"Thank you, Mrs. Mathews."

He turned to the police and drew in a deep breath. "Let's go."

ooooo

Every scary movie ever made had blood. It had the kind that sprayed when someone got shot, the kind that pooled after someone fell to their death, even the clotted kind that stuck to a wound.

Movies had nothing on the real thing.

Darry would never see a murder movie the same way. He was only twenty and yet he was standing in front of a glass, preparing to identify the bodies of his parents. He fought the urge to vomit on the officers shoes and instead, swallowed hard. He could do this. He _had_ to do this. Nodding to the officer, he prepared himself for what was lying on the other side of the glass. But nothing could prepare him for it.

They brought out his mother first. Sobs threatened to overcome him, but Darry forced himself to stay focused. He would have his time to cry, but now was not it. His beautiful mother, the one he loved so much, lay still on the white bed. Her once golden hair, always perfectly brushed and cleaned, was stained auburn in places. Her face was cut and bruised. Darry could see they had done their best to clean her up, but there was only so much they could do for her. The sheet covered most of the damage, but Darry could tell it was bad from the way it hung over her lifeless body.

Amelia Grace Curtis was dead at the age of 40.

When his father was brought out, Darry let out a strangled sob, unable to stop it from escaping his lips. Seeing his hero, the strong and lively man he had loved and admired, lying so still and so broken sent fresh stabs of pain throughout his body. In life, he had been a big man, filling a room with his life and energy. In death, he seemed so small. It was so wrong to see them this way and Darry knew no matter what, these images would stay with him for the rest of his life.

The cowlick in his dad's hair still remained, but barely anything else about his was recognizable. His face was badly cut and Darry thought that he might have hit the windshield. It would explain the damage. His skin was pale and colorless, the sheet covering him turning a light red in places where the blood had seeped through. There was no movement, no hint of life. The once vibrant man had been forever silenced.

Darrel Andrew Curtis was dead at the age of 42.

The curtain behind the class dropped down, hiding their bodies from view and Darry felt the urge to vomit replaced by the need to sit down. He felt as if he would pass out, the world spinning crazily around him. The officer that had accompanied him put a steadying hand on his shoulder and spoke softly, sounding like he was far away when really, he stood beside him. Darry took several shuddering breaths, the world starting to come back into focus.

"I said, are you alright, son? You got awful pale, just now. That's enough to shake a man twice your age ... I can't imagine what it's like for you. Anything I can do to help out?"

He simply nodded his head, not trusting himself to speak. While the world had stopped spinning, the reality of it hadn't disappeared. His parents were truly dead.

"Now what?"

Darry didn't mean to ask it out loud, but once he did he stared at the police officer, desperate for a clue on where to go.

"I'm not sure," he answered slowly. "But I know one thing - those brothers of yours are gonna be missin' you right about now. C'mon, I'll give you a ride home."

Settling for nodding, he followed the cop as they headed out of the building. He almost ran into the officer as he came up short, stopping without a warning. The officer grabbed an envelope from the nearby desk and extended it to Darry.

"I almost forgot - this was in the car with your parents. We think it was what they went out to pick up."

Darry slowly took the envelope from the officer and opened it, staring at the gift wrapped box inside. For a minute, he thought he would leave it wrapped forever. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what they had lost their lives picking out. Then he realized how important it must have been for them to go out and get it for him, and he pulled the slim box from the envelope. Carefully, he unwrapped the paper, setting it aside so he could save it.

He recognized the box immediately and the tears he'd fought so hard to hide began flowing, leaving streaks of warmth on his pale cheeks. Darry opened the box and stared at the beautiful watch that he'd been drooling over for the last several months. His parents had bought him the watch and he'd never even realized it. Grabbing it out of the box, Darry felt something on the underside and flipped it over. More tears poured from his eyes, making it hard to read what was engraved. He blinked fiercely, clearing his vision.

_Happy Birthday. Love Dad, Mom, Soda, and Pony._

Darry clutched the watch to his chest, squeezing his eyes shut. The officer was standing nearby, respectfully giving him his space. When Darry regained his composure, he carefully put the watch on his wrist and admired it there. It was even more beautiful than he ever thought possible, but there was a weight to it he hadn't imagined. Darry thought it might be guilt.

Turning to the officer, he whispered, "Thank you. We can go now."

The man nodded and gave him an encouraging grimace before leading him out of the building and away from the bodies of his parents. There would be funeral arrangements to be made, phone calls to friends, and the obituary to write. And then there were his brothers. What would happen to all of them?

The entire ride home, Darry's head was spinning. As they pulled into the driveway, though, those thoughts disappeared as he realized the hardest task was still waiting for him just inside those doors.

He had to tell Ponyboy that their parents were never coming home.

ooooo

The list of moments in which Darry completely, undoubtedly despised himself was quite short. He hated himself the day he let Soda get hurt on his watch. He hated himself for having to break the news about their parents to his brothers. But those were tiny pitfalls compared to this moment. This was the one that would haunt him until he died.

He stared out into the darkness, Soda hollering for Pony to come back beside him, unable to comprehend the fact that he had driven his little brother away. Darry simply stared. He couldn't move, he could barely breath. He felt frozen in time.

Darry heard Soda speaking to him, but he couldn't hear just what it was his brother was saying. A tentative hand on his arm startled him and Darry flinched from the contact. Soda was staring at him with wide eyes, anger and disgust plain on his face, but he was trying to hide it. He seemed to realize how lost Darry was and his expression softened, but Darry kept glancing out into the darkness. Ponyboy would come back. He had to. Darry had to make this right.

Allowing himself to be guided back inside, Darry collapsed onto the couch. Sitting in his dad's chair felt wrong right then. Their father had been an admirable man with an impressive temper, when provoked, but he had never laid a hand on his youngest son. Darry and Soda had received their fair share of whoopin's, sure. But not Ponyboy. He was the baby and they had always known it. And now Darry had done the unthinkable.

He looked down at his hand and saw the redness on the palm of his hand. Darry could only imagine the side of Pony's face. Tears burned his eyes, but he did nothing to stop them. Why? Where had being strong gotten him? He had driven Pony away in the worst possible way and there was nothing he could do to fix it. His kid brother was a fast runner and there was no telling where he'd ended up by now.

"He'll come back, Dar," Soda muttered, staring at him nervously. "You know that, right? We just - we just gotta wait. We can't spook 'im."

Darry forced himself to nod, blinking more tears from his eyes. Soda sighed heavily and sat in their dad's chair, his hands clasped in front of him like he was praying. He probably was, Darry realized. Maybe I should too.

_God, if you're listenin' bring him home. Please bring him home. I'll do anything I have to in order to make this right, just bring him home safe. Please._

Far away, a siren began blaring and Darry felt panic set in. He had to find Ponyboy before something bad happened to him, too. They had already lost their two rocks of the family. They couldn't survive without the baby of them all. They just couldn't.

His wide eyes met Soda's and they shared a moment of silent fear, no words spoken between them. Darry just kept praying.

Bring him home. Safe.

XxX

**Age Twenty One**

The day the letter came in the mail wasn't a good memory. In fact, it ranked up there with the night he hit Pony and the night their parents died. It was so goddamn unfair. Hadn't their family paid enough?

They tried everything to get him out of it, but the Army wasn't budging. An hour after Soda's letter came, Steve disappeared for a while. When he returned, he told them he'd enlisted. They were about to lose two of their good friends to the war that just didn't make any sense.

Darry sat with his head in his hands, listening to Soda and Ponyboy in their bedroom. Their youngest brother was in hysterics, screaming at first. Eventually he stopped yelling and Darry heard the sobbing start. Before long, Soda's crying joined in with Pony's. It broke his heart to hear and he felt some of his own tears slip out. It just wasn't fair. Steve was sitting on the couch with a blank look and Two-Bit just kept cursing, glaring darkly at the floor. Their small family just kept getting smaller.

"I'll bring him home, Darry," Steve muttered. "So help me God, I will fuckin' bring Soda back to you an' Ponyboy."

He gave Steve a weak smile. "I know, Steve. You better get your ass back, too. Read me?"

Steve nodded and resumed his blank staring. The normally chatty Two-Bit was silenced, stunned by the exchange.

"So that's it? That's all we can do? They're gonna go to Viet-fuckin-nam and nobody gets to say otherwise? Why is this happenin'? Goddamn it." He got up and stormed out of the house, letting the door swing shut behind him.

The two remaining friends watched him leave with sad eyes and Steve sighed, standing. "I should go see Evie. Let 'er know ... well, just tell her I guess."

Darry nodded and did something he never did before. He stood and hugged Steve, hard. Surprised, he tensed up at first, but then Steve was hugging back. Darry clapped him on the back and watched their good friend leave. He had done the unthinkable in sgning up for the war, practically signing away his life. But he'd done it for Soda and Darry would never forget that. He would always owe Steve for what he'd done.

Down the hall, the sound of sobbing was quieting, but it didn't sound like it was over yet. They had two weeks. Two weeks before their whole world was rocked once more and Darry had a feeling the crying was far from over. He wiped his hands on his jeans and headed for their bedroom, stopping to look at his parents pictures on the mantle.

"Please keep him safe for us," he whispered, touching the frames gently. "Bring them both home safe."

ooooo

Time flew by and before he knew it, they were saying goodbye to his little brother and best friend. Darry hugged him fiercely, feeling the tears threaten to come out, but forcing them away. He had to be strong again. Soda was sniffling against him, but Darry knew when he said goodbye to Ponyboy his emotions would be under control. He wanted to be brave for Pony.

Pulling back, Soda looked at him with terrified eyes. "It's just a year, right? I'll see you before you know it."

"You better believe it, little buddy," he whispered. "You stay safe over there, you read me? We'll see you soon, Pepsi."

They hugged again, Darry didn't ever want to release him. He was terrified, wondering just when he would be able to put his arms around his brother again. Then, it was Pony's turn. He watched as the two of them latched on to one another in a grip that could have crushed some ribs. He smiled in spite of the pain and loved his brothers fiercely for it. Steve was bidding goodbye as well, Evie fawning over him with silent tears streaming down her cheeks. He made his way over to his friends and shuffled uncomfortably.

Darry gave him a firm hug and when he pulled back, looked him square in the eye. "You come back safe, hear me?"

Steve settled for nodding and Darry could see the emotions he was fighting so hard. He went back to watching his younger brothers, still embracing. Soda was whispering softly to Ponyboy who was shaking from his sobs. Darry wasn't sure how he had any more tears left to cry, but then again it was Soda he was crying for. He had a feeling there would always be some untapped well of emotion when it came to their middle brother.

The bus pulled up to the station and the doors swung open with a loud hiss. This was it. Darry felt like he could choke, the knot in his stomach lodging itself in his throat instead. Slowly, regretfully, his brothers separated and Soda gave Ponyboy one of his winning smiles.

"Don't give Darry too much trouble, got it? I'll come back over here and skin you so fast you won't see me comin'," he joked, drawing a small smile out of Pony.

"Just come home safe. _Please_." The pleading in Ponyboy's voice broke Darry's heart and he wrapped an arm protectively around Pony's shoulders.

Soda's emotions were threatening to take over and he looked at Darry, silently seeking help. Darry nodded and squeezed Ponyboy gently, redirecting his younger brothers attention to him.

"He'll be back, Pone. Who'd help me keep you in line, huh? Soda's gonna be just fine, kiddo. We promise."

Relieved, Soda gave him a small smile and Pony latched on to Darry, holding on tightly. Darry gave Soda one last, tight smile and watched as his brother climbed on the bus with Steve, both of them hanging out of the windows and waving until the bus was out of view. Their farewell group stood, tears flowing freely now, trying to figure out what they would do next. Where did they go from here?

ooooo

In the months that passed, Darry and Ponyboy got along the best that they could remember in a long time. It wasn't because Soda was gone, but rather they were both making the effort that they knew he would want them to. Darry wanted everything perfect for when Soda came home and that included his relationship with their baby brother. He was finally trying to understand Ponyboy and Pony was in turn making an effort to use his head more. All in all, it had been surprisingly successful.

It was a month before Soda was set to come home and they were all hanging out at their place, Steve back from 'Nam early with a leg injury. He'd have a limp, the doctors said, but nothing more serious. He'd gotten out lucky, considering his injury. Darry was just relieved to have one less guy to worry about being over there.

They were playing poker at the kitchen table and Darry was trying to hold back his laughter. Ponyboy was trying his best to win, but he was the easiest card player to read in the history of poker. His eyes gave him away every time. Two-Bit was in the middle of grabbing his winnings when they heard it. That knock on the door.

Darry immediately looked at Steve, suddenly very aware of how much he missed Soda. It hit him hard and he struggled to keep his breathing even. Turning to Ponyboy, he saw his brother white as a ghost. No one knocked on their door. Not since Pony had run off that night. Not since their parents died. Nobody knocked.

Realizing they were waiting on him, Darry somehow found it in himself to move and made his way to the door. He stopped, hesitating by the mantle and looking at the smiling faces in them. Dad. Mom. Soda. Him. Pony. He had a feeling he would never look at those photos the same way and he soaked in their silent happiness. Darry saw his hand shake as he reached out and grabbed the door, slowly pulling it open.

The house had been full of noise before the knock, but now it was just silent. When Darry took in the two officers at his door, he felt his stomach turn to lead. They had that look on their faces, the one that Darry knew so many other families had the misfortune of seeing.

When the one on his right began to speak, Darry felt himself go numb. He heard the words he had been dreading for months and felt the ground disappear from under him.

_"Regret to inform you ... Sodapop Curtis ... killed in action ..."_

Darry numbly registered Two-Bit running out of the room. He felt his emotions climbing, threatening to choke him, and he heard a loud sob escape from him. The officers were still hesitating in the doorway, unsure whether or not to leave. Darry wished they would. They'd brought the news that none of them wanted, yet all of them feared they would get. As his knees began to give way, he heard Ponyboy scream, a horrible mix of anguish and rage. He caught Pony midstride as he rushed towards the officers, hoping to throw himself at them.

His little brother, his _only_ brother, struggled in his arms even harder. Pony was still yelling, trying his damndest to get to the officers, but Darry held firm. He had to. He didn't think he would ever let Pony go again. The effort of holding back his own emotions was too great, so Darry just let it all go. He felt the tears begin and Darry let them pour. His best friend, his little brother was dead. Gone. Died alone somewhere across the world, fighting for some stupid war.

Sodapop. The happiest one. The one that always brought peace to the group. The one that kept their family together every time it threatened to come apart. The one they had all counted on always being there.

He felt the fight leave Ponyboy and he collapsed, sobbing terribly. Darry sank to the floor, arms still wrapped around Pony's shaking body. Soon his own sobs joined Pony's and he had no desire to stop them. Everything that mattered, everything he had ever counted on to be there for him was gone. His brother, the one so like their dad, so full of life, was gone. How could that be? What had they done to deserve this?

His shirt clung to his chest from the tears Pony was crying and he hugged his brother tightly. Ponyboy was all he had left. It was just the two of them now. He could never let him go. Not now. Not ever. That seemed to be fine with Pony as he hugged back even harder, his poor body racking from all of the sobs. Darry's heart would have broken at the sound, if there had been anything left to break.

But now, he just felt empty.

What was he supposed to do now?

* * *

**A/N: **I honestly tried avoiding putting both sets of death in this chapter, but it fit the timeline.

Also, I know the odds of them getting a personal announcement of Soda's death is unlikely, but I had written it from Steve's POV in _From Boy to Man_ and it was something I wanted to write from Darry's. Apologies, again.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Still stunned by the following this story has gained. I've passed 1,000 views on this story and that just blows me away. Many, many thanks.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. S.E. Hinton owns _The Outsiders._

* * *

**Age Twenty Two**

It had been a year. Twelve long months since they had buried their brother, but life went on even when they thought it wouldn't. Darry turned his alarm clock off with a groan and laid in bed, staring at the cracked ceiling.

There was a hole in his chest that would never refill, but it didn't hurt as badly as it had yesterday. Or the day before that. Or even the day before. Each day was a step towards the future and a step away from the past and even though he missed Soda every damn day, it got better. A little.

He knew that hole would be even bigger and even more painful if he had lost Ponyboy that night he ran out and said a silent prayer of thanks, just like he did every day when he thought of how close he had come to losing him, too. To losing it all. Pony, surprisingly, had been the one holding him together. It was Darry that fell into that dark pit of despair after the funeral and it was Ponyboy that somehow managed to pull him out. Funny how grief makes people react, he thought wryly.

In the kitchen, he heard the familiar clattering of pans and knew it was time to get moving. He had a big day at work, Jeff Wheeler, the boss, had told him he wanted a word with Darry. Although he was a bit worried about the meeting, mostly he was just curious. Darry had never had to go and speak to the boss before, except for when he applied for the job and had to explain why he'd needed the work so badly. Jeff was a good guy.

Groaning as he got up, Darry stretched his back and listened to it crack with satisfaction. He grabbed his work clothes and headed for the bathroom.

"Want eggs or an omelet, Dar?" Pony's voice carried easily through their quiet house and a small pang echoed in that hole in his chest.

"Eggs'll be fine, kiddo. Thanks."

"Scrambled it is," he heard his brother reply and he grinned.

Ponyboy was a good kid, probably the best kid brother anybody could have asked for, but he was growing up and it scared Darry something awful. Sure, he was still a kid for the most part. But he had changed. He'd seen too much in his fifteen years and Darry hated that. He hated that Pony had to bury his parents, his best friends, and then his brother. It wasn't right for any kid, let alone one like Pony.

After getting cleaned up, Darry made his way into the kitchen, the smells of the cooking bacon and eggs filling the house. His stomach rumbled loudly and Ponyboy snickered, serving his plate up with a cup of coffee to go with it. Darry gave him a one armed hug and smiled, not even glancing at his food.

"Looks good, Pone. Thanks."

He shrugged and served up his own plate, sitting down and drinking his cup of coffee greedily. Darry smirked as he watched him inhale the food. He was definitely a growing boy and the older he got, the more and more he looked like Sodapop. It broke his heart, but at the same time it helped him because his brother wasn't completely gone from their lives. Not as long as they worked together to keep it that way.

Darry made to take a bite of the eggs in front of him and stopped, staring at them on his plate. Pony had stopped eating and was waiting for him to say something. He had made green eggs. The pain that he was bracing himself for didn't come. Instead, an overwhelming need to laugh filled his gut and exploded from him, filling the kitchen with its noise. Pony smiled at him happily before joining him in laughing.

No, he thought, Sodapop ain't gone. Never would be, either.

He ate his breakfast, happily chatting with Ponyboy about anything and everything. Their relationship had changed so much over the past couple of years and Darry was grateful. They didn't walk on eggshells around each other anymore and although they still had their differences, they were much fewer and farther between. It was starting to feel like a normal home again.

Glancing at the clock, Darry realized he'd be late if he took much longer. He dropped his plates in the sink and gave Pony a hurried kiss on the head, promptly earning a groan as Pony's cheeks turned bright red. No matter what, he wouldn't stop though. Darry had learned the hard way that you never knew when you could tell someone you cared next. There wasn't always a "later" or "tomorrow". All they had was then and now.

"See you later, Pone! Don't let Two-Bit mess up the house too bad."

Although he still made appearances, it was clear to all of them that Steve was still really hurting from the loss of Soda. He drank heavily and usually stayed at home, coming over on weekends once in a while. It worried Darry to see him so depressed, but there wasn't much he could do. The one time he tried talking to him, Steve had almost taken a swing at him. It wasn't a conversation he was looking forward to having again.

The ride to work was short, the newest work site much closer to his house. Darry climbed out of the truck and saw Jeff Wheeler making his way out of the building, waving him over. A flit of worry ran through his mind as Darry returned the wave and shook Jeff's outstretched hand.

"Mr. Wheeler, I'm sorry I didn't realize I was runnin' late. My kid brother –"

"Relax, Darry," he insisted, holding his hand up. "And the name is Jeff. Listen, I'm in a real rush. Got a call from a guy up on Main Street project. Guess some idiot dropped a bundle and almost hit some lady's cat."

Darry bit back a grin and nodded. "Sure I understand. What was it you wanted to talk to me about, sir?"

"Normally, I'd do this in a more formal way, but with time short I'm just gonna out with it. Darry, you've done damn good work for me since you started here. It's about time you start earnin' pay that showed it. I want you to be my partner. Learn the ropes of the business and then, in time, it's yours."

The entire time Jeff was speaking, Darry had to force himself to focus. He was hearing the words, but having such a hard time believing them that his mouth was hanging open. Darry was stunned. Him? A _partner_?

Jeff was staring at him with a spreading grin, waiting for him to reply. Clearing his head with a good shake, Darry chuckled softly.

"Jeff, I'm speechless. I don't even know what to say."

"Well then I'll tell you. Just say _'yes, I'd love to be partner, sign me up.'_ Done deal, son. Congratulations." Jeff thrust his hand forward and Darry returned it, limply responding to him.

It wasn't until about ten minutes later, when Jeff was gone and it was just him overseeing the job that it all hit him. He was no longer just another work-hand.

He was moving up.

ooooo

Staring in the mirror, Darry realized he hadn't outgrown the stupid cowlick in his hair. He tried to flatten it down with water and hairspray like his dad had shown him years before, but that did nothing. Pick your battles, he thought grimly and let it be. He had exactly fifteen minutes before he had to be at his date's house and he wasn't going to be late.

Not when his date was with the boss' daughter.

Ponyboy peeked into the bathroom and whistled, grinning at him. "Lookin' good there, Dar. You can hardly notice you're sweatin' like a pig."

Horrified, Darry looked under the arms of his shirt and saw nothing. He turned and glared at his now-cackling brother and shook his head.

"One day, little buddy, you're gonna be headin' out on a date like this here and I'm gonna give you such a hard time you won't know what hit ya."

He smiled as Pony held up his hands in mock defense. "I'm shakin' in my boots, over here. You keep dollin' up in here, you'll be late. I don't think Jeff would like that too much, huh?"

"No, I don't think he would," he agreed with another grin.

Darry flipped the bathroom light off and steered Ponyboy out into the living room, snagging his coat from the hook by the door. "Dinner is in the fridge. If you need anything else, Mrs. Mathews is home and Two-Bit will prolly stop by later on."

He nodded and shuffled his feet a bit, a sign he had something to ask but didn't know how to phrase it quite right. "Out with it, kiddo. What's on your mind?"

"You an' Anna are gettin' real serious, aren't you Darry?"

Thinking about it, Darry nodded. "Yeah, I'd say we are. You still like her, don't you?"

"Oh yeah, 'course. I was just makin' sure you weren't gonna do somethin' stupid like dump her or nothin'," he chimed in with a smart grin in place. "She's real good for you, Darry. Keep her around, will ya?"

Darry laughed heartily, feeling happy down to the pit of his stomach. "I'll do my best. See you later, Pone."

He headed for his truck, smiling as he walked. Darry had a good feeling about Anna and she had clicked with Pony the minute they'd met. He was gonna keep her, alright. If he had it his way, and she agreed, Darry wanted to keep her for a long, long time. For the first time in his life, Darry was learning how it felt to fall in love.

XxX

**Age Twenty Four**

Staring at the letter in his hands, Darry thought he finally understood what his parents felt when they saw Darry's acceptance letter. Or a good grade from Soda. Or a drawing from Ponyboy. He felt completely and utterly proud.

Ponyboy had been accepted to a college in Chicago, one of the best, to pursue his passion of writing. Hollering, Darry grabbed Pony in a fierce hug and swung him around the room. They were both laughing and Darry felt the familiar sting of tears. Except instead of grief, these were from his pride.

"Ponyboy, I am so damn proud of you! I knew you had it in you, kiddo! This is great! We're gonna have to throw a little party for ya, celebrate with all the guys. Gotta show off my kid brother, the scholar." He ruffled his hair affectionately and Pony grinned at him.

They stood nearly eye to eye now, his kid brother not really a kid anymore. He was Soda's height and could have passed as his twin most times. There was a knowledge that shone bright in his eyes and anybody that saw him knew he was going places. A pang shot through Darry's heart as he realized in just a few months, he'd be losing Pony. To a good cause, he thought, but still losing him regardless.

His brother hesitated and shuffled. "Well, I'm still waitin' to hear back from some schools around here. I might now go to Chicago, ya know. I haven't made up my mind yet."

Darry grinned at Ponyboy and shoved his pain away, wrapping his brother in a gentler hug. "You've made up your mind and we both know that. You're goin' to Chicago, kiddo. And you're gonna take that city by storm."

"You really think so?"

"I _know_ so."

A sudden thought struck Darry and he knew what he had to do. Clapping Pony on the back, his grin widened and he pulled his brother near.

"I think there's somethin' I gotta do, though, before you go off to college. It wouldn't be right if you weren't here for it."

Pony frowned. "Sure, Dar. What is it?"

He simply grinned in reply, his mind already racing.

ooooo

It was a beautiful, bright summer day. Dozens of people were mulling around the small church and Darry kept chuckling to himself when he caught sight of a hood in dress clothes. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves and glanced in the mirror, straightening his jacket anxiously.

He was getting married.

Darry had proposed to Anna two days after Ponyboy got his acceptance letter and they set the date for two weeks before he was set to leave. College or not, Darry wanted his brother at his wedding. Who else would stand up there as his best man?

Speaking of which, he thought with a grin. The door swung open and Ponyboy squeezed inside, his smile wide and bright. Darry beamed back at him and hugged him heartily.

"Goddamn, Dar," he hissed. "I thought you said Dad taught you how to knot a tie?"

He laughed loudly and shrugged. "It ain't exactly the easiest thing in the world, kiddo. Not today, anyways."

Ponyboy rolled his eyes with a smirk and came over, straightening the tie carefully, brushing Darry's shoulders off with a final pat. "Well, you look kid. At least as good as you're gonna look."

"Pony, if we weren't in church, I'd skin you."

The two of them laughed again, settling Darry's dancing nerves. He was anxious. There were a lot of people in the church, most of them from Anna's family, but he was nervous and underneath it all, he was a bit sad.

He had always pictured his parents, nearly exploding from pride, sitting in the front aisle on his wedding day. His mom should be drying her tears that he knew wouldn't stop that day. His dad would be grinning ear to ear, his knee jittering as he sat. But they weren't there. And the one person that he had wanted at his wedding more than anyone wouldn't be there either. Soda had never gotten the chance to see Darry truly happy with a woman.

The laugh died on his lips and Darry looked in the mirror, seeing so much of his dad staring back at him. It made him feel a little better, but he still wished for the real thing. Ponyboy studied him and put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

"I wish they were here, too. And you know Soda would have thrown one hell of a bachelor's party."

Darry grinned at the thought and nodded. "You're right about that. He woulda done everything I said I _didn't_ want, just 'cause he could."

Ponyboy laughed and stared at the ground. "I miss him a lot, Darry. But you know what helps? Stuff like this. Seein' you happy with Anna. Or gettin' that acceptance letter. Things that I know he woulda loved to have seen and things that, somehow, I still think he _can_ see."

"I think he can too, Pone. 'S a matter of fact, I'm sure he's here right now. Mom 'n Dad, too."

They hugged once more, the last of the Curtis family about to embark on two very different life paths. Darry could feel the finality of it all and held Pony tighter. This was it.

Steve stuck his head in the door, hair slicked back. "You almost ready, Superman? Show time."

Pony nodded. "Yeah, he's ready. Let's get this show on the road, huh?"

The two brothers made their way to the door, but before Pony opened it, Darry stopped him. Ponyboy frowned and glanced over his shoulder at the door.

"Somethin' wrong, Dar?"

He shook his head and smiled, eyes tingling but otherwise dry. "Jus' wanted to say how happy I am that you're my best man. And, you know I love you, right?"

It was always easy to tell when Ponyboy was pleased, his ears flushing a bright red and his eyes looking anywhere but at the person speaking to him. He grinned and fixed the boutonniere on Darry's jacket.

"I know. I love you too, Dar."

With one last hug and a final straightening of the tuxedo, Darry pushed open the large door and prepared himself. In just a few moments, his future wife would walk down the aisle to him and they would begin the rest of their lives. Darry smiled happily and nodded to himself. His family was there, even if he couldn't see them. And sitting in the front row where his parents would have been was his other family, Two-Bit and his wife, Annie, along with Steve and Evie. His family was there and they always would be.

The organ music began and he followed Ponyboy in the short procession towards the altar.

"Here we go."

ooooo

The last box was unloaded and Darry looked around the small apartment with a satisfied smile. Pony's roommate had stopped in earlier and introduced himself - a decent kid named Jacob. It was everything Darry would want for his little brother, but now came the hard part. He had to leave him in a new place and go home without him.

Ponyboy dropped the box with all of his books on the desk by the window with a grin. He was positively beaming and Darry knew his brother would be fine in Chicago. He would find his place there soon enough and had already been talking about looking into track and field. Ponyboy was going to be fine.

"You gonna be okay, Dar?"

He grinned and waved his brother off. "You kiddin'? Anna's already told me we're comin' out every few weeks. By the time I start missin' you, I'll be back."

Ponyboy grinned at him, but Darry could see some of his old worry starting to creep through.

"Pony, you're gonna be great here. You know that right? Jacob seems like a nice kid and you'll meet a bunch in your classes. Maybe even some girls. And before you know it, Christmas will be here and I'll come out to pick you up. It'll fly by."

"Yeah, I know," he mumbled. "I just ... I'm gonna miss you. If I need somethin', it ain't like you're right down the hall anymore. You're a couple thousand miles from here. It'll just be hard to adjust to, is all."

Darry sighed and sat on Ponyboy's bed, patting it for his brother to join him. He put an arm around his shoulders.

"It's only seven hundred miles away, but I agree, that's a heckuva lot farther than just down the hall. But you know I'm still gonna come out here if you need me, right? I swear to God, kiddo. You call me, anytime day or night, and I will be here as fast as my truck can get me here. Shit, if I let Steve drive we'll be here even faster."

That earned a loud laugh from Ponyboy and he rested his head on Darry's shoulder with a sigh. "Yeah, alright. I'm gonna miss you, Dar. I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused you before."

Surprised, Darry drew back slightly. "Pony, you were a kid. You were supposed to cause trouble. That's a kid brothers job."

"Well, I didn't make your job any easier," he conceded. "You didn't ask to be a dad at twenty. And ya know somethin', Dar? You did real good with me and Soda."

His chest tightened and Darry cleared his throat thickly. "You're a good kid, Pony. Don't you change that or I'll come out here and I'll skin you."

They stood up and embraced, neither one wanting to let go first. Darry knew it would be hard to walk away without Ponyboy, but he didn't realize it would hurt as much as it did. He couldn't protect Pony the same way he could with him under the same roof. He couldn't defend him against everything that life would throw his way, but at the same time, Darry knew it was for the best.

With a final squeeze, Darry let his brother go and stood back, looking around the room once more. He noticed the calendar Pony had already tacked on the wall and grinned, pointing at it.

"You got the day we come get you on there?"

He smiled back at him. "That was the first date I put in it. It'll fly by, like you said."

"Right. Take it easy, Pony. You need me, you call. And you'd better make sure you call at least once a week, let me know how things are goin'."

"You got it, Dar. Thanks."

Darry hesitated, unable to make himself move either towards the door or towards his brother. With a deep breath he took a step back and then another, knowing if he stopped he wouldn't be able to start moving again.

"Love you, kiddo. Talk to you soon."

"Love you too, Darry."

And then, Darry carefully shut the door behind him, closing his eyes tightly against the familiar sting of tears. He weaved his way through the crowd of freshman in the dorms and climbed into his truck. Darry pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes hard, shoving the tears back. He had a long drive ahead of him and work the next day.

As he pulled out onto the road, he realized how quiet the ride home was going to be without Pony's trivia or idle chatting. The house itself would be so empty without his younger brother, but then Darry remembered that Anna was waiting for him and he smiled. The house wouldn't be completely empty, he thought. And Pony was going to be just fine at school.

They were _both_ going to be fine.

XxX

**Age Thirty**

Darry stared at the TV set, watching reruns of some sitcom as he rubbed the sleeping two-year-old's back. Matthew was resting with his head on Darry's shoulder. His three-year-old, Darrel, was already in bed and Anna was down putting their new baby to sleep. He felt like such a coward, but he was afraid to put the baby to bed.

He was afraid because she was a little, perfect, baby girl.

Darry had absolutely no experience with girls. In his mind, they were pink and soft and fragile. He didn't want to break her. After holding Lisa in the hospital, he realized just how much of his world he was holding in that tiny bundle. He deeply loved his sons, but his little girl was different.

Anna crept down the hall, a tired but satisfied smile in place. He smiled back at her and she pointed at Matt, silently asking if he wanted her to take him. Darry shook his head, enjoying the warmth of his son peacefully resting on his chest. It made him feel secure. She nodded and sat on the couch, grabbing her cup of tea and sipping on it.

"So, when is it your turn to put the baby to bed," she whispered, a knowing smile on her face.

Giving her a look, he answered, "Maybe tomorrow."

"Darry, you said that two nights ago. And last night. Don't be afraid of her, sweetheart. She's just like Darrel and Matt were," she insisted quietly.

"No, she's not," he mumbled. "She's so different. She's so small and so ... she's perfect, Ann. I don't wanna hurt her."

Anna smiled warmly at him. "Go put him to bed and come back out here."

He sighed, but did it anyways, his son never stirring from his deep sleep. As he rested, Darry saw hints of Soda in his face. Smiling, he kissed Matthew gently on the forehead and closed his bedroom door behind him before going back to where Anna waited. Darry groaned as he collapsed beside her on the couch, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her to him.

"Darry, you can't be afraid of takin' care of Lisa," she began. "She's just a baby like the boys were and she loves you just as much as they do. Every little girl needs her daddy, you know that."

"No I don't," he cried. "I don't know anythin' about girls. Two-Bit had Claire, Steve had Wendy. All the guys have had girls and know what to expect, but I don't. I raised my brothers, not any sisters. They're so ... different."

Anna kissed his cheek and stared up at him. "Stop thinkin' of her as some scary thing. She's just another baby. We've done this twice before, you know."

"She's not scary! I didn't say that. She's perfect."

"And so are you."

He kissed her passionately, weaving his hand through her wavy hair. When they broke apart her eyes were bright and Darry knew she was right. She had a bad habit of almost always being right, he thought with a wry grin.

"How about I get her up tomorrow morning? Think she'd like to see this ole face first thing?"

"I think she would love that."

XxX

**Age Thirty Nine**

Darry laughed as he watched his sons. The two of them were in yet another argument, this one over who got to put which ornament on the tree. His sons got along perfectly majority of the time, but then there were moments when they completely butted heads. No matter what was going on, he felt happy because it was his favorite time of year. Darry had always loved Christmas.

Lisa came into the living room, singing along loudly with the Christmas record playing on the turntable. The smells coming from the kitchen were absolutely heavenly and Darry had to try hard to keep himself from sneaking food away. It was the first Christmas in a few years that everyone would be together and he knew Anna wanted it to be perfect. For Darry, it would be perfect regardless.

"Boys, stop arguin' and get these boxes taken care of," he laughed, pointing at the ornament boxes. "Your uncles will be here any minute and I don't want a mess."

"Daddy, the lights outside look so pretty in the snow!" Lisa had her face pressed against the window and was looking down the street at all of the decorated houses, their lights bright against the white snow.

Down the street came a short parade of cars, the first was Two-Bit's distinct old clunker. Darry grinned and gave Lisa a hug.

"You're right, baby. It's looks real pretty out." Turning to the kitchen, he yelled, "Anna, the guys are here!"

She hollered back to him and he could barely contain his excitement. They were all here. He headed out onto the porch, leaving his coat behind and laughed loudly as he watched Two-Bit climb out of the car, Claire shooting past him and hurrying up the steps to give Lisa a big hug. Wendy wasn't far behind, darting out of Steve's car with a squeal.

His buddies were laughing and hollering, giving each other hugs and clapping one another on the back. Darry laughed and headed down the stairs, wrapping Steve in a bear hug first, then Two-Bit.

"It's damn good to see you guys," he exclaimed. "Been too long, man."

"Ain't that the truth," Two-Bit hooted, his wide grin firmly in place. "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

"Man, shut up," Steve groaned, smiling anyways. "Good to see you, Superman. Got a few more gray hairs than the last time we saw ya."

Darry laughed and punched Steve firmly in the shoulder. "Yeah? Keep talkin', Randle. Wait and see what happens."

Steve winced and rubbed his shoulder. "Alright, so ya ain't _that_ old yet."

They all laughed and headed back inside when the last car pulled up. It had barely stopped when the little boy came running up to Darry, arms wide and smile wider.

"Uncle Darry!"

"Hey there, Joshua!"

Ponyboy got out of the car and stretched, smiling happily at his family. Two-Bit's sister, Bonnie, got out of the passenger seat and waved to her brother, hurrying over to give him a big hug. The two of them, much to everyone's surprise, had hit it off after Soda had died. They had kept in touch when Pony left for school and had gotten hitched not long after. She was good for Pony and Darry couldn't have pictured his brother any other way.

"Hey, Darry."

"Hey, kiddo."

No matter how old they got, Ponyboy would always be a kid to Darry. He wrapped him in the biggest hug yet, holding his brother close and enjoying the moment. They were all home, they were all safe, and for the first time in a long time, they were all happy.

"You boys get on in here. You're gonna catch a cold," Anna called from the door, rolling her eyes at the group of them in the snow.

"Yeah, you heard the lady," Two-Bit commanded, pointing towards the house. "Step to it, gentlemen!"

Ponyboy shoved his friend and shook his head. "Man, you haven't changed a bit."

"I'm awful glad to hear you say that, Pone."

Darry kept his arm wrapped around Pony's shoulders as they headed back inside and stood back, watching everyone mull around. The kids were all sizing up the presents - the oldest ones trying to guess what was in theirs and the youngest wondering what Santa would bring over night. The women were all chatting animatedly, cooing over their kids and shaking their heads at their husbands.

The guys were still the same guys Darry had always known, he realized with a smile. Steve was still the same hard ass, Two-Bit the same wise ass, and Ponyboy the same smart ass. They had all grown up, but they hadn't really changed. Darry knew Soda would be there in the middle of them, with a beautiful wife and the two kids he always wanted. Even though it still hurt when he thought of his brother being gone, Darry felt content with life.

He had Ponyboy. He had Anna and he had his kids. He had his friends and he knew that he still had his family. They were there in the little things. In the way Darrel would watch his younger siblings with that small smile, just like his mom used to watch them when they played. Or the way Matthew would get that devilish grin before he did something he knew he shouldn't, so much like Soda had as a kid. Even the way that Lisa's hair kicked up in the back, in the exact place his dad's had.

No, they weren't gone and as long as Darry kept their memories close, they never would be. Smiling at all of his guests, Darry held out his hands and hollered over the ruckus.

"Merry Christmas, everyone! Let's eat!"

* * *

**A/N: **So that's it. I intended on making one more chapter, but I think this ties it up rather nicely, don't you?

Seriously, can't believe how many people enjoyed this. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Keep an eye on my profile for any news.

-Independence Undervalued.


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